triflesandparsnips:

waitineedaname:

I’m genuinely surprised at the lack of Internet based AUs on this site so I came up with some

  • ‘so you’re the asshole that took my username’ AU
  • ‘your URL is really similar to my friend’s and I accidentally messaged you’ AU
  • ‘whoops that was supposed to be on anon’ AU
  • ‘my self-esteem is shit right now and I noticed you just went through my entire face tag, tell me I’m pretty’ AU
  • ‘you were like my first follower, why are you still here’ AU
  • ‘I just recognized you from across the store and I don’t know what to do, my training didn’t prepare me for this’ AU
  • ‘I think half of my anons are from the same person and I’m trying to track you down’ AU
  • ‘we both ship the same obscure pairing, let’s get married right now but first let’s share headcanons’ AU
  • ‘I was looking at my new followers and I think you were my crush that moved away in fourth grade’ AU

holy shit

  • ‘I had a big internet crush on someone with the same username as you like three years ago but there’s no way you’re the same person, right?’ AU
  • ‘you’re my favorite author no you’re MY favorite author NO YOU’RE–’ AU
  • ‘facebook asked if I knew you and I seriously don’t but apparently all my friends do? who the hell are you?’ AU
  • ‘our email addresses are one letter off and, whoops, I’ve signed you up for some really interesting mailing lists’ AU
  • ‘we have started competitively trying to be the first commenters on the same obscure youtube channel’ AU
  • ‘we both anonymously moderate the same porn blog and we haven’t realized it yet’ AU
  • ‘oh my god, so you’re the xkit guy?’ AU
muchlikebear:
“if-you-see-gay-me:
“gotitforcheap:
“chucklebot:
“I am going to find this cafe and burn it down.
”
*locks eyes with the barista as I spray whipped cream into my coffee*
”
motherfucker I am PAYING for caffeine and the right to enjoy it...

muchlikebear:

if-you-see-gay-me:

gotitforcheap:

chucklebot:

I am going to find this cafe and burn it down.

*locks eyes with the barista as I spray whipped cream into my coffee* 

motherfucker I am PAYING for caffeine and the right to enjoy it any way I want I will cut it with sugar and mainline it right here don’t try me

image

no but au where person a of your otp works at the coffee shop and is required to say that when people order 

and person b hears person a, looks person a straight in the eye, and pours the entire thing of sugar in the coffee
the sign falls in with a little clink

Things you should know about each of your characters

metamorphiccrayola:

the-right-writing:

These are what I would consider to be the most basic, bare-bones questions of character creation.

  • What would completely break your character?
  • What was the best thing in your character’s life?
  • What was the worst thing in your character’s life?
  • What seemingly insignificant memories stuck with your character?
  • Does your character work so that they can support their hobbies or use their hobbies as a way of filling up the time they aren’t working?
  • What is your character reluctant to tell people?
  • How does your character feel about sex?
  • How many friends does your character have?
  • How many friends does your character want?
  • What would your character make a scene in public about?
  • What would your character give their life for?
  • What are your character’s major flaws?
  • What does your character pretend or try to care about?
  • How does the image your character tries to project differ from the image they actually project?
  • What is your character afraid of?
  • What is something most people in your setting do that your character things is dumb?
  • Where would your character fall on a politeness/rudeness scale?

yes

AUs for when your OTP are both assholes

jonahryan:

  • You drive a massive SUV and steal my parking spot all the time and I was just heading out to leave a strongly worded note under your windshield wiper but oh no you’re hot AU
  • I’m a barista and you’re the obnoxious customer who comes through and orders a venti macchiato while talking on the phone the whole time so I misspell your name in increasingly creative ways every day AU
  • I’m a busy businessperson and my barista keeps misspelling my name in increasingly disrespectful ways, honestly, who does this person think they are AU
  • We were both playing wingman for our friends who have now decided to go home together, and after five minutes of conversation we fucking hate each other, let’s bang it out AU
  • I saw you trying to hit the “door close” button in the elevator but I made it in and then I pushed every single button to make you later for work, but now we’re stuck in this fucking elevator as it stops at every single floor and I don’t know what to say other than “you started it” AU
  • I asked for your help getting a book off the top shelf and and you laughed at my taste and called me a nerd so I shoved you into a table of nonfiction best-sellers and that’s how we both got banned from the quirky community bookstore AU
  • I take my grades very seriously and you’re the lazy asshole who asks a ton of off-topic questions to distract the professor and I might be a foot shorter than you but I swear to god I’ll fight you AU
  • You tried to barge into a private conversation so I said something devastatingly witty and dismissive but you came back with something even meaner and more clever AU
  • Shouting match over the last Thanksgiving turkey at the grocery store AU
AU scenarios “we’re bad at dating” edition

notallbees:

  • I can’t tell whether this is a date because you asked to see a movie but I’m still not sure you’re queer, and I’m toeing the line because maybe you’re just trying to make friends
  • One of us thinks this is a date but the other thinks it’s an informal job interview
  • I decided to flip a coin about every decision in my life for a week and that’s how we ended up on a date
  • We’re both meant to be going on blind dates with other people but we sat down at the wrong table and got our hopes up
  • We took each other’s underwear from the laundromat by mistake
  • I got drunk and sent a sexy naked pic to my ex but I sent it to you instead by mistake
  • We had one really bad date and never spoke again and now our friends have set us up on a blind date
  • I’m calling to cancel our date because I’m actually in the ER right now, sorry. …I mean, sure, I guess you can come down here, but… okay…
  • We had sex at the office party but we’re both workaholics so we don’t normally date
  • We’re going on a blind date - but wait a moment, aren’t you that went down on me in a back alley behind a club year ago? … what do you mean “which one”?
  • You’re my waiter and I’m on a really crappy date with an asshole
  • Your appointment with a sexual therapist was right after mine and we got talking in the waiting room
  • We’re on a blind date, but wait a moment… aren’t you that guy who gave me a hand job at a Renaissance Faire a year ago?… what do you MEAN “WHICH ONE”?
  • We both picked the same power ballad at karaoke so we sang a duet
  • We’re both trying to take advantage of the unlimited appetizers deal on separate dates at TGI Fridays and I got the mozzarella sticks and I’m on my sixth plate and I want to die, can I PLEASE swap you for some of your wings?
calm-your-cloaca:
“ babyletyourfantasiesunwind:
“ yersinia—pestis:
“ merlinsbearditsthedoctor:
“ No but I can just imagine a person bursting through the door screaming “I NEED YOUR HELP. IT’S A NINE” and everyone in the shop stops and all...

calm-your-cloaca:

babyletyourfantasiesunwind:

yersinia—pestis:

merlinsbearditsthedoctor:

No but I can just imagine a person bursting through the door screaming “I NEED YOUR HELP. IT’S A NINE” and everyone in the shop stops and all collectively goes “Oh shit” and the florists start working frantically while the man/woman just stands there looking scared as fuck while the other customers are trying to figure out what they did. 

that must be bad if it’s a 9 on an alphabetical scale.

IM FUCKGIN CRYING

gallifreyanconsultingdetective:

dianeraeb:

siriuus:

do action movies know they can have more than one female character

Someone should make an action movie with all girls except for one guy and have no explanation or mention of it in the movie and then pay all of the actors to act surprised like they’d never noticed when they get the inevitable storm of questions. 

This one male must have a shower scene, be saved by the protagonist at least once, and fall in love with a lead female.


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