hymnandher:

i know tumblr likes violent man eating mermaids but i fuck p heavy with pretty playful pretty scaled mermaids in warm sorts of waters keeping the tide gentle when lil toddlers are learning to swim and kissing the breath into good sailors because they have someone waiting on a cliff by the sea for them to come home and cutting seals and turtles out of netting and plastic bags 

but maybe being from hawaii just made me think of the ocean of a safe cradley sort of place i know its scary i know it’ll kick your ass but sometimes its ten types of turquoise and and sometimes sea foam sticks to your eyelashes sometimes the sun hits your face even when you’re twenty feet under and i have a hard time forgetting its first and foremost a womb 

so mermaids who watch the triple crown and scare sharks away from the surfers 

cielrouge:

thethoughtrepository:

• “I am a simple mermaid trying to get a simple college education and you fUCKERS KEEP PREVENTING THAT BY THROWING WATER BALLOONS AT ME FIVE MINUTES BEFORE CLASS SO IM STRANDED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING QUAD FOR A HOUR UNTIL IT WEARS OFF”

• “Alternatively, I was skipping class and saw you trying to drag you and your huge ass tail through the courtyard–do you need help? I guess I can carry you to class if you’d like, though I’m not so sure this was worth being called ‘Prince Eric’ for the next two weeks”

• “I knew there was a reason why you were so good in marine biology and why you always had to one-up me in the exam scores yOU’RE A MERMAID THIS IS SO UNFAIR IM TURNING YOU IN FOR CHEATING CHEATER”

• “I don’t know why i thought bringing you to a sushi bar was a good idea, i thought seeing all the live fish in the tanks would have been nice but i forgot about all the dead ones after”

• “I’m the mermaid so of course im always picked to go on diving missions by you biased advantage taking pricks, and you know what? i don’t care what you say, its dark and scary and theres something down there that i have never forgotten why do you think i stay on land”

• “apparently due to your mystical sea creature powers you have the ability to mimic any sound you hear, so you know what means friend?? VOICE IMPRESSIONS! MORGAN FREEMAN GO”

• “I know its late and i dont know you but i hear you can talk to fish and im worried my goldfish is depressed”

• “I take my showers before bed and I always end up scaring the shit out of your boy/girlfriend while dragging my two ton tail to the kitchen for some ice cream at 11 at night”

@isanah

prettypnk:

i really like the idea of mermaids bringing their witch girlfriends the ingredients they need for potions from the bottom of the sea 

ramsaybolton:

Gamer girl? No, you misunderstood. I’m a gay mergirl. [steals your girlfriend and swims away]