historyandmemes:

Abigail Adams: Remember the ladies!

John Adams:

khmacleod:

Ancient moon priestesses were called virgins. ‘Virgin’ meant not married, not belonging to a man - a woman who was ‘one-in-herself’. The very word derives from a Latin root meaning strength, force, skill; and was later applied to men: virle. Ishtar, Diana, Astarte, Isis were all all called virgin, which did not refer to sexual chastity, but sexual independence. And all great culture heroes of the past, mythic or historic, were said to be born of virgin mothers: Marduk, Gilgamesh, Buddha, Osiris, Dionysus, Genghis Khan, Jesus - they were all affirmed as sons of the Great Mother, of the Original One, their worldly power deriving from her. When the Hebrews used the word, and in the original Aramaic, it meant ‘maiden’ or ‘young woman’, with no connotations to sexual chastity. But later Christian translators could not conceive of the ‘Virgin Mary’ as a woman of independent sexuality, needless to say; they distorted the meaning into sexually pure, chaste, never touched. —Monica Sjoo

61below:

stevenfresco:

sorry i have bubonic plague i can’t hang out tonight

aw rats

persianwars:
“happy ides of march
”

persianwars:

happy ides of march

egowave:

(king louis xvi crytyping before getting executed) i,,,, didjngt meanb to fuck up] france and let tthe etntire 3rd esate starve ghg,,, andn nwo every.,ones mad at mw andb thehre going tto g,uillotine mee adn,, i cnat stop cryign

  7640

marystewart:

top 10 favorite events or periods in history (in no particular order)

misteradequate:

ancient guy: i want all the dicks of persia in my ass, i love dicks, give me dicks until i drown
modern historian: well what you have to keep in mind is that ancient cultures had different ideas of how to show affection and express themselves, so it’s actually probable he was talking about his brotherly affection for his people

US Presidents As Dril Tweets
  • George Washington: another day volunteering at the betsy ross museum. everyone keeps asking me if they can fuck the flag. buddy, they wont even let me fuck it
  • John Adams: "ah boo hoo hoo i want to post Foul comments to content leaders" Fat Chance, Dimwit. I will annihilate you under bulwark of the Law and God.
  • Thomas Jefferson: Q: If your post was proven by a counsil of wise men to be racist, or bullshit, would you bar it from the record? A: I do not delete my posts
  • James Madison: (sniffing a crumpled up one dollar bill i found on the floor of a dog kennel) ah.. thats greenbacks baby
  • James Monroe: for decades i have traversed the unforgiving mountains and rivers of south america, hoping to catch a glimpse of the fabled "ass downloader"
  • John Quincy Adams: "This Whole Thing Smacks Of Gender," i holler as i overturn my uncle's barbeque grill and turn the 4th of July into the 4th of Shit
  • Andrew Jackson: handing Faves over to my enemies is FRAUD !! base, contemptible FRAUD!
  • Martin Van Buren: Food $200
  •  Data $150
  •  Rent $800
  •  Candles $3,600
  •  Utility $150
  •  someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying
  • William Henry Harrison: (spends all of 7 seconds skimming some blog posts) yep. just as i knew all along. having pnuamonia is good
  • John Tyler: fuck "jokes". everything i tweet is real. raw insight without the horse shit. no, i will NOT follow trolls. twitter dot com. i live for this
  • James K. Polk: thhere is no such thing as charisma, and art is fake. the only metrics by which we must determine the worth of a man are Strength and Wisdom
  • Zachary Taylor: the doctor reveals my blood pressure is 420 over 69. i hoot & holler outta the building while a bunch of losers tell me that im dying
  • Millard Fillmore: trying to heal..... please donate to my go fund me... $10 will make me less racist... $100 will make me extremely less racist...thank you...
  • Franklin Pierce: blocked. blocked. blocked. youre all blocked. none of you are free of sin
  • James Buchanan: #NationalGirlfriendDay please cherish your gal's.. in honor of us, the single Boys who must sacrifice all companionship to #CarryTheBrand...
  • Abraham Lincoln: unloading an entire belt of ammo at me with a minigun or some such device will now get you "Blocked"
  • Andrew Johnson: who the fuck is scraeming "LOG OFF" at my house. show yourself, coward. i will never log off
  • Ulysses S. Grant: i regret being tasked the emotional burden of maintaining the final bastion of morality and Nice manners in this endless ocean of human SHIT
  • Rutherford B. Hayes: using the toilet when i hear Our national anthem start to play. i do what i must. i stand tall in complete agony; as shit runs down my leg,
  • James A. Garfield: too much truth in such little time. feeling the heat cominh down to silence me... signing off........ for now
  • Chester A. Arthur: i WILL wise the fuck up. i WILL super charge my content for 2017. i WILL get blue check mark
  • Grover Cleveland: the way i see it, people who come on here and submit content that is not up to par, could possibly be considered the "Villains" of this site
  • Benjamin Harrison: i help every body, im not racist, i keep myself nice, and when i ask for a single re-tweet in return i am told to fuck off, fuck myself, etc
  • William McKinley: boy oh boy do i love purchasing large amounnts of Fool's Gold. wait a minute... fools gold fucking sucks. this stuff is no good..!! Fuck !!!
  • Theodore Roosevelt: IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL
  • William H. Taft: ah.. the perfect Souffle! cant wait to dig in to t(*EVERY PIPE IN MY HOUSE EXPLODES AT THE SAME TIME, COVERING ME IN SHIT AND BOILING WATER*
  • Woodrow Wilson: the conflicted supersoldier stares over the horizon as he smokes a cigarette. "war is the most fucked up thing ever." he takes a sip of beer
  • Warren G. Harding: somebody please Bribe me
  • Calvin Coolidge: aggressively joyless oaf hhere. painfully obnoxious respect demander checkign in. extremely dim witted frowning man looking for pals
  • Herbert Hoover: it is really quite astonishing that I have yet to win The Lottery, given how good I am at selecting six numbers and saying them out loud
  • Franklin D. Roosevelt: ive never heard of this “europe” but it sounds like a big bunch of shit to me
  • Harry Truman: everybody wants to be the guy to write the tweet that solves racism once and for all because it would look good as hell on a resume
  • Dwight D. Eisenhower: my "F*&k It!! Let's Go Golfin" t-shirt maintains a tenacious stranglehold on my life. after 1,125 days of Golf my body is twisted, deformed
  • John F. Kennedy: when you do sutuff like... shoot my jaw clean off of my face with a sniper rifle, it mostly reflects poorly on your self
  • Lyndon B. Johnson: incredibly handsome , charismatic famous boy credited with ending income inequality after saying that slumlords should be called "dumblords"
  • Richard Nixon: i attribute the complete failure of my brand to the actions of detractors, oor my “trolls”, as it were, as well as my own constant fuckups
  • Gerald Ford: shutting computer down until the shitty moods & attitudes can fuck off., if you need me ill be on my other computer, sititng 60° to my right
  • Jimmy Carter: i warnned you all that bad things would happen if you kept letting your wives wear jeans. AND NOW LOOK! the damn gas prices are up again
  • Ronald Reagan: spend a lot of time thinking about how sometimes even war criminals can be heroes sometimes... Dont like it? Click the unfollow buttobn
  • George H.W. Bush: just thought off an idea i believe to be bad ass. lets find the address of the leader of isis, and mail him/ her pieces of our SHIT
  • Bill Clinton: were at the point now, that when i offer to impregnate my girl followers, people assume my motives are sexual. disgusting, grow the fuck up,
  • George W. Bush: friday night gathering up together a big pile of things i like to respect (flags, crucifixes ,etc) and just roll around in it ,give kisses,
  • Barack Obama: my IQ has increased 10 points ever since i stopped tollerating people mucking about, on the time line
  830

museum-of-artifacts:
“ Ferdinand II armour. Created by Lucio Piccinino (1550-1589). Gift from Alessandro Farnese, Duke of Parma and Piacenza
”

museum-of-artifacts:

Ferdinand II armour. Created by Lucio Piccinino (1550-1589). Gift from Alessandro Farnese, Duke of Parma and Piacenza

 
  5

me, passionate about ancient rome, hand motioning exuberantly, smacking my history teacher in the face,

personifiedrandomness:

kafkarockopera:

the ides of march

[Caesar: “hey guys”
Senator: “oh hey Caesar”
Caesar: “i uh, i brought my knife”
Senator: “your knife?”
Caesar: “Octavius said to bring one in the group chat”]

HOW IS THIS 6 SECONDS LONG WHAT IS THIS SORCERY

Unsolved Mysteries

heroes-get-made:

Some interesting reading for a rainy day.

  • Ambrose Bierce - A famous Civil War-era writer decides to leave his cushy life to go to Mexico, only to disappear forever.
  • Agent 335 - One of the first U.S. spies was a woman, but who?
  • The Axeman of New Orleans - This guy won’t stop coming after people with an axe until everybody plays jazz music.
  • The Baychimo - When winter strikes, a ship sheds its crew–and then decides to take off without them.
  • The Black Dahlia Murder (NEW!) - Who murdered and maimed this woman, and is she the only victim? [suggested by several people]
  • Blair Adams (NEW!) - What is this Canadian man running from and did it find him?
  • Cahokia  - A gigantic ancient civilization along the Mississippi is abandoned, but why? [suggested by luminescent-wanderings]
  • The Canneto di Caronia Fires - Mysterious fires keep popping up in this small Sicilian town.
  • Çatalhöyük - A 9,500-year-old city in Turkey had everything going for it, and yet it was abandoned.
  • The Chicago Tylenol Murders - Someone laces Tylenol with poison and descends an entire city into chaos.
  • The Dancing Plague - People are stricken with the need to dance, some to their deaths.
  • D. B. Cooper - An unknown man hijacked a plane, extorted hundreds of thousands, and then parachuted to freedom.
  • The Dyatlov Pass Incident (tw: photo of a dead body) - Several experienced mountain hikers go into a mountain range in Russia and die of unknown causes. [see also]
  • Ebola in Rome  - Did an outbreak of ebola strike ancient Athens long before it ever tormented Africa?
  • Elisa Lam - A woman, seemingly pursued by an unseen foe, disappears, only to be found inside her hotel’s water tower two weeks later.
  • Erdstall - There are thousands of still-standing, ancient tunnels beneath central Europe, but no one knows what they’re for. [see also]
  • Genghis Khan’s Tomb - One of the greatest and most successful rulers of all time, but no one can find his final resting place.
  • The Hinterkaifeck Murders - Unexplained noises, missing house keys, and an entire family found dead in rural Germany.
  • The Isabella Stewart Gardener Museum Theft - Some hacks in police uniforms steal a bunch of priceless art, including a Rembrandt.
  • The Isdal Woman - What happened to this woman in Norway, who was she, and why were so many steps taken to conceal her identity? [suggested by whalesguts]
  • Japan’s Ghost Ship Problem - Ships from North Korea keep showing up on Japan’s shores… filled with mutilated corpses.
  • The Jian Seng - A giant ship is found floating with no crew and no one knows where it came from.
  • Jimmy Hoffa - A teamster with mob ties disappears, theories abound.
  • Joseph Newton Chandler III  - Is this dead identity thief the Zodiac Killer? And if so, what is his real name?
  • The Joyita - Crew members abandon a real unsinkable ship, but why?
  • The Lighthouse Mystery - Several Scottish lighthouse keepers disappear abruptly.
  • The Lost Colony (on Roanoke Island) - A bunch of white people decide to try and colonize an island and it doesn’t go well.
  • The Lost Dutchman Mine - In unforgiving territory lies a lost treasure just waiting to be found–if you don’t die first.
  • The Lost Nazi Plunder - The nazis stole hoards of important items, including art and cultural artifacts. Where are they now? [see also]
  • The Mary Celeste - A sailing ship in working order is found, still at sea, without a crew.
  • Monsieur Chouchani - Who was this mysterious Jewish teacher and mentor of Elie Weisel who dressed like a vagabond?
  • The Oakville Blobs - Gelatinous blobs of an unknown substance rain from the sky.
  • The Paris Catacombs - A seemingly infinite series of tunnels filled with bones, artwork, and missing explorers. [see also]
  • The Phaistos Disc - A mysterious disc, thousands of years old and covered in strange symbols, is found in Crete.
  • Rongorongo - An undecifered set of glyphs from Easter Island, possibly a completely independent language.
  • The Tamam Shud Case (tw: photo of a dead body) - A body shows up on a beach in Australia, and how it got there is wrapped in mystery and lies.
  • Tarrare - A man who couldn’t stop eating, anything and everything.
  • UVB-76 - A strange radio station in Russia broadcasts a constant buzz, broken only by strange readings of names and numbers.
  • The Voynich Manuscript - An unbreakable code in an ancient manuscript full of strange drawings–what’s not to like?
  • The Woman in the Tree (aka Who Put Bella in the Wych Elm?) - A body turns up stuffed into a tree trunk, becomes a local rallying cry.
  • The Wow! Signal - A strong radio signal from space still has researchers stunned and baffled.
  • The Zodiac Killer (NEW!) - Who is the cryptic killer behind a rash of murders? (Other than Ted Cruz.) [suggested by several people]

(These are the most reliable unsolved stories I could find. There are many others that require more sources to be believed or already have very plausible answers.)

Know a good one that isn’t listed? Let me know!

jonpertwee:

firmine:

infelixdidos:

voynichs:

british romanticism: i went into the woods and i found a beautiful woman, but she wasn’t really a woman, she was my Muse and the woods is my mind

american romanticism: i went into the woods and found the devil and he gave me a clock, but the clock was actually the industrial revolution and it fucking killed me

italian romanticism: i went into the woods and toppled face down over a root which proves nature is but a cruel stepmother, also this must somehow be a sign that God wants us to get rid of those fucking austrians

french romanticism: i went into the woods and found a peasant woman, but she wasn’t really a woman, she was the Republic and the woods is the people of France, wild, free and unconquered

Russian romanticism: I went into the woods, got shot, and died quietly like a decent person.

  8717

mercutihoe:

Talking about history is weird because it’s like you’re telling people stories about what happened to you and your friends once but you were not there, Alexander the Great is not your friend, and it happened over 2,000 years ago


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